I show it to the guard, slip it on the door and Im inside. Soon Im on the roof. The wind is not blowing that strong and the sky is just a straight gray line, full of a billion tiny little clouds. As I reach the edge, near the parapet, I can see the tiny people down there. Soon I imagine my body, completely broken by that twenty floor fall and I shiver even more, holding myself strongly. I didnt want this. I just wanted to disappear. My idea wasnt to make a scene, but jumping from here seemed the faster way to go, as I already heard we lose consciousness even before hitting the ground. I awkwardly climb the parapet. My vision blurred a little and the world spun around me. My body was completely numb and I had a ball of ice in my stomach that was trying to escape through my mouth. I was already feeling myself fall, realizing it was over and mourning it. Mourning the poor significance my life had, to me and to the others. Then I heard the door to the roof creak. So that is it I heard. I got to sixty-six. Along the way I decided I had to tell her what was happening to me. It might be the worst thing I could ever do, but I had to or I'd end up in a straight jacket."Sabrina." I got that much out. She just stared at me."Maybe I can explain everything I've been feeling some day," I said. "I don't know. My brain doesn't work very well when I'm around you."She took a breath and I pushed my hand at her again. I was mildly surprised to see it still up there, facing her. I put it back in my lap."I'm not sure what being in love feels like," I said. "If it's any more intense than what I've been through in the last few days, I'm not sure I'd survive it if it happened."Now she just waited for me to go on."It's a little bit like hoping for a drop of rain, because you're parched and there has been a four year drought, and then it rains twenty inches in two hours. I'm the slave of the Amazon warrior princess, and I'll do whatever she requires of me to stay a slave. If that means.
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